THATFILMGUY

Cashing in on the growing market of high concept B-Movies comes Syfy channels original film, Sharknado. Aware of the genius of the title, with a poster showing the aforementioned sharks flying out of a tornado the tag line simply reads Enough said and in many ways this is true. The central conceit is almost enough to immediately place it in a list of Best Worst films, but when you add a cast of ˜stars’ resembling a Who’s Who of fallen C-List actors and you’re on the way to something special.

Like all Best Worst films entered into The Room, Sharknado combines a ridiculous premise with terrible acting and less-than-stellar special effects. There is a real sense that you’re never quite sure what time of day it is, because between each cut the colour palette changes. One second it’s early morning on a grey day, the next it’s midday and sunny. It’s incredible that any editor would not have noticed these obvious errors, but then maybe that’s the point.

There is a real sense that the film-makers were aware that they were aiming for a certain market of film aficionado and creating something coherent would simply not fly. Films like The Room and Birdemic stand above the rest because you get the impression that the film-makers genuinely think that their work is something great. Whereas the idea of actually aiming for this specific demographic stops Sharknado from becoming one of the truly awful films. This is of course not to say that it is somehow a good film. Because it isn’t.

Aside from the terrible editing, Sharknado boasts a cast that includes Tara Reid, the dad from Home Alone and a guy from the original Beverley Hills 90210. This kind of stunt-casting really helps add to the enjoyment, because there’s nothing funnier to audiences of Best/Worst than a ˜name’ who is forced to slum it. Samuel L. Jackson somehow avoided this problem in Snakes on a Plane, but the cast of Sharknado is less fortunate. It’s funny really because you’d imagine that seeing a former ˜up-and-comer’ like Tara Reid a little older with a career in the toilet would be the funniest part, but in reality it just reminds you what a terrible actress she’s always been. As she shrieks Why won’t you die at a shark that¦ well won’t die, it reminds us that a pretty face is no longer a guarantee of a long and fruitful career.

As you might expect, Sharknado also draws heavy influence from the masterpiece in monster horror, Steven Spielberg’s Jaws. There are constant visual references, like sharks dying in ways that bear more than a passing resemblance to the methods used in Jaws and its sequels. There’s also spoken word gags, like the tiresome “We’re going to need a bigger chopper” replacing the classic “bigger boat” line.

Sharknado therefore is a solid addition to the burgeoning Best/Worst genre of B-Movies, but because of the obvious way it aims for the demographic it fails to get all the way to the top. Still if rumours are to be believed, there may well be a sequel coming called Wolfcano and let’s be honest, who isn’t looking forward to that.

Much like the film itself, this review has run out of steam, so here’s a poem to Ms. Tara Reid:

 

An Ode to Tara Reid

Tara oh Tara,

what have you done,

Your career’s disappeared,

It’s course it has run.

 

Could you possibly imagine,

When filming American Pie,

That a mere decade later,

Sharks would fall from the sky.

 

A Sharknado of sorts,

A pod of predators will fly,

As you fecklessly stand still,

Screaming Why won’t you die?

 

Is it night or day,

Confusing cuts it would seem,

With sharks sliding here and there,

As if almost a dream.

 

But take heart Tara Reid,

Help to fight the beasts from below,

Will come from the dad in Home Alone.

And some guy from Beverley Hills 90210.

 

Your ex-husband Finn is brave,

He’ll wrestle and cajole,

The great aquatic beasts,

Before being swallowed whole.

 

But when all’s said and done,

Victorious you will be,

With the apex predators disposed of,

Driven back to the sea.

 

But what of your career,

Where does it go from Sharknado,

Perhaps sequel about volcanic lycanthropes,

Simply called Wolfcano.

 

 

 

Thomas Patrick