Zombie beavers… Oh dear
[pullquote cite=”” type=”left, right”][amazon text=Amazon&template=carousel&chan=That Film Guy&asin=B00MNBTNZC][/pullquote] The last film on the first night of Fright Fest better be insane, partly because last year You’re Next graced the silver screen. A film I thoroughly loved for its twists, black comedy, authenticity and ass kicking. Oh how I wish I felt the same after this Zomtastrophy.
Zombeavers¦were to start. Is a frightful mess. Three hot ladies head to a cabin for a break from men (baring in mind they are 18/19 sorority sisters) life cannot be that bad that they need to take a little break from their crazy hectic dating schedules… I already want to leave. They have everything they need in their little idyllic green paradise, beer, music, each other, no phones though, shock. On to the obligatory swimsuit shots including one topless, brash, sister that wont abide by anyone’s rules as she is young, carefree and hot. If I could count the cliques on ten hands I would be close to 40 minutes in by now.
The girls who are trying to be at one with nature spot the Beavers nest, a wooden mass splattered in neon green slime. Hint hint “ the reason for their mutation. Now please role on with the ˜beaver’ jokes.
Night falls and so do their inhibitions, games of Would You Rather follow, and tensions run high as they struggle without being connected to their phones for more than one weekend. Once noises begin from outside, their safe haven no longer seems so safe anymore. If you cannot see what happens next you have not watched enough B rated horror flicks, as their boyfriends appear to ruin their girls only weekend.
Cut to my thoughts, and I am wondering whether to leave now, but I decide to give it one more chance. Think Piranha 3D but 10x worse. All couples now gather inside, either throwing cheap insults at each other or getting hot and heavy in their secluded love shack. Like every teen horror, one emerges to then be greeted by the first Zombeaver. The most ridiculous piece of animatronics I have ever seen.
I stay to watch the first attack and panic out of pure respect of fellow cinemagoers as to not interrupt their cinema experience, but by midnight I have had enough of the acting and script. I love film and can watch the most BS film, but this takes the biscuit.
I could have made a better film with no acting/directing or screen writing qualifications. Please never make a film again.