THATFILMGUY

Another week goes by and another best worst film is created and shown on the Syfy channel. We’ve had a Sharknado and a Birdemic, a Mega Piranha and Dragonwasps. But it wasn’t until now that we had the wonder that is Piranhaconda. That’s right, a genetic freak that is part equal parts piranha and anaconda, two of the favourite monster film creatures. Nonsensical to the extreme it is the official sequel to Sharktopus and does claim a producer credit for the legendary Roger Corman.

Set on the island of Puerto Vallarta, Piranhaconda follows a  low budget film crew (art imitating life, imitating art and so on for eternity) who are trying to escape the clutches of an international gang (don’t ask why, it really doesn’t matter). In among there is a Professor Lovegrove (Michael Madsen) and a collection of porn stars and daytime soap stars. They find an egg, the piranhacondas chase them about the island like a sadistic Benny Hill sketch and a lot of people get eaten.

As you would expect there’s terrible acting, woeful dialogue and sub-standard 1990s computer graphics for the monster. This is when they remember to include the monster, as they seem to genuinely forget a lot of time, which leads to our ˜actors’ reacting to what is simply beautiful landscapes as if their about to be eaten by an invisible foe.

However the insistence on the sub-genre of intentionally bad films might be reaching something of saturation. There’s only so many times that you can watch a former C-list star whoring themselves out for a cheap boost in cult popularity before you start to question what the point is. Also because they seem to be setting out to make a terrible film, all of the elements form something of a checklist and the shock and awe you experience when you watch one that is truly awful by accident is somehow diminished.

But then that’s more thought than has gone into the making of the film, so perhaps it’s just worth ignoring the deep sadness surrounding the truth and just enjoy a gigantic snake with the head of fish kill a bunch of nobodies.

Thomas Patrick