THATFILMGUY

A GROTESQUE parade of candy-coloured, hooligan freaks is how the makers describe the eponymous bad guys in Killer Klowns From Outer Space. They’re not wrong “ which is surprising given the film they made. Magnificently terrible from start to finish, this film has everything a classic shouldn’t: an incredibly slow-moving plot, infuriatingly unrealistic characters and acting so bad it makes Battlefield Earth look like a classic. The following contains spoilers “ though they should be called savers if they prevent even one person watching Killer Klowns.

A small American town, apparently populated by people who refuse to see danger in the most appallingly dangerous situations, is invaded by murderous, mute clowns hell-bent on wrapping them in candy floss and taking them back to their big top/spaceship. There follows a series of scenes in which the extremely creepy clowns walk slowly towards people who make no attempt to escape.

In most cases, the clowns do a piece of circus-related entertaining before brutally murdering or enslaving their victims. In a move worthy of the Mayor of Amity Island, the police absolutely refuse to believe anything is wrong despite the apocalyptic mayhem breaking out all around them. When one officer finally sees the truth and asks his colleague to call for backup, the colleague replies: F**k you, over.

In fairness to the film-makers, part of Killer Klowns are very funny “ one clown’s meeting with nasty bikers is worth the DVD price on its own. And for this reason Killer Klowns cannot be given the full five Nilbogs needed to place it alongside the worst films ever made. Ridiculous, unbelieveable and utterly insane it may be, but it’s not as bad as Troll 2.

Alex Morrison