Luckily for lovers of bad films, there are a few moments of comedy gold. Lines like: “We don’t want a corpse in here with his eyes out and a particularly persistent erection” and “I’m going to kill you so slowly, your driving licence is going to expire before you do” add some spice to an otherwise bland film experience.
There is also a priceless moment when one werewolf suspects his girlfriend is becoming one too. Unhappy with the idea of a girl joining the “boys only” club, the chief werewolf says: “First sign of fur, cut off her face.” Problem solved.
In fairness to the filmmakers, Strippers vs Werewolves is nowhere near as bad as many movies in the B-movie dungeon. It meets basic standards of picture and sound quality and some of the acting is ok (although other parts are awful). It boasts some fairly well-known actors, including Martin Kemp, Robert Englund and Alan Ford, but they probably don’t list this one high on their CVs. The vampire hunter who helps the strippers is genuinely funny at times, adding much-needed comic relief.
But in truth the film just isn’t worth 90 minutes of your life – not even for the cameo from page three girl Lucy Pinder. Strippers vs Werewolves took just £38 at the box office, meaning only four people paid to see it. I bet they want their money back.