Transformers: Dark of the Moon: “It’s like something from a terrible sci-fi movie.”
The mantra of anyone who reviews films must be that you go into every film with an open-mind. Whether that be a children’s animated film, a bloody horror or a period drama. Regardless of everything that you think you know about a director, a franchise, an actor, an actress or a plot. You must allow yourself to be gripped, moved and overall taken on a journey. Art house films have the benefit of almost no marketing, no hype and little expectations. They can surprise, impress and overwhelm. On the other end of the scale is Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
The first half of Dark of the Moon reintroduces us to Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBouef) from the original film, and his new girlfriend Carly Spencer (Rosie Huntington-Whitely) and his search for a meaningful life outside of working with the Autobots. Simultaneously we are treated to the revelation that the moon landing was actually a secret mission to find out about a crashed spaceship. Aboard the ship is Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy), who holds the key to a secret weapon that could turn the tide of the ever-raging battle between Autobots and Decepticons. The second half of the film is a protracted action scene with no point.
When Michael Bay was given the keys to the Transformer world in 2007, there was concern from the cult followers of the 1980s cartoon that he would ruin their vision of the universe. These fears proved to be partly right, but there was enough special effects and fun characters to make it passable. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen took everything good from the first movie and replaced it with cheap teenage humour and endless fight scenes between two indeterminable robots. Dark of the Moon gives us half a complicated, mess of a plot, before completely ignoring all the endless setup just to give us some mind-numbing robot on robot action.
Bay’s camera angles are bizarre with extreme close-ups and half-torso shots seemingly his favourite. Whenever Huntington-Whitely is on screen, the camera leers at her, once again proving Bay’s ‘pornographic eye for the female form. Whilst on the subject of Megan Fox’s replacement: She cannot act at all, and spends most of the film tottering around looking like an Afghan hound sucking a lollypop. In fact Dark of the Moon’s casting as a whole is terrible with pointless cameos for John Malkovich and Ken Jeong, although every human seems to be suffering from mild schizophrenia and is prone to ‘wigging out’ at the drop of a hat. Thank goodness for Dutch (Alan Tudyk) who is at least funny in the limited time given to him.
There were rumours before release that this was a partial return to ‘form’ for the franchise. These claims are wildly misplaced as this treads the same ground as the second film. It’s loud, mind-numbing, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, pornographic and ultimately pointless. The brief moments of quality and humour are quickly drowned out by the sound of a robot hitting another robot. It’s everything you would come to expect from the series and a bit less.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon: Ranked 8th in Top 10 Worst Films of 2011
Related Reviews:
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
By Natasha Ball 27/07/2011 - 21:35
Wow, is it really that bad? I’d heard it wasn’t great but was planning to go see it this weekend for free… but after reading your review, I feel that even for free it would be a waste of 2 hours!
By Tom Patrick 28/07/2011 - 13:16
It is an abomination of a movie that sexualises a kids toy and leers at all the pretty cars and women to the point where you can’t help but think there’s a pornographer directing. Which in many ways there is.
You’re better off watching paint dry, at least that won’t give you a headache and make you feel dirty.
By James Haves 05/08/2011 - 15:31
Wow. You pretty much mirrored my thoughts exactly. I don’t know if you saw it in 3D, but I’m glad I didn’t. That would have got a 0/10. It was lucky to get away with a 1/10.
By Tom Patrick 06/08/2011 - 15:18
I find that 3D is a dying novelty that will hopefully be reduced to just the one screen at the local multiplex.
By Mark Barrett 13/04/2012 - 12:38
Just to give a different opinion on the reboot franchise…
I have very fond memories of the original animated film and have on occasion, watched it since it was released on DVD. It was great but nowadays certainly feels dated, however my love for it remains.
I have to throw my two pence in and say that I have really enjoyed all of Bay’s Transformer films. I understand and agree with the acting performances of the various humans on show and am somewhat surprised that Sam’s parents haven’t come in for a bashing here as I cringe each and every time they come into shot. I also agree that the action scene’s are frantic and this approach leads to confusion over which transforminers are fighting.
But there’s something there – I can’t quite explain it but I’ve thoroughly enjoyed each of the films and have not yet left the cinema feeling disappointed in any way. There’s simply an energy in these films that envelopes me and leaves me feeling as though I’ve been taken on an amazing ride.
The soundtrack (influenced by Linkin Park) strikes the right chord with me and does a great job of supporting the scene’s and amplifies the emotions I felt at different stages of the film.
I know I’m in for a bashing from the haters, but I don’t actually care. I will defend these films, not on whether they are filmed correctly or casted well, but on the fact that these films have never disappointed me and as a lifelong Transformers fan that must count for something… right?
By That Film Guy 13/04/2012 - 13:40
As much as I hated the film, and really it astounds me that anyone can take enjoyment from it, I can understand those that do like it. You fall squarely within the demographic at which it was aimed. Say what you will about Michael Bay, and people (myself included) can talk for hours on him, he knows how to market a film to the right audience. Namely the teenage boys to young adult males.
He presents the world in a way that the stereotype suggests they’ll enjoy. Women are playthings, money and good looks are the only important thing. People with intelligence are shunned and portrayed as socially awkward and guns and violence are the answer to the world’s problems. He does for boys, what Twilight does for girls. Sadly in the scheme of all film-making they’re just not good enough. If you’re going to spend $200m making a film, could you not spend some of it paying for a proper script-writer, solid actors throughout and a coherent story. Is it too much to ask to expect something truly special for that kind of money? Even if it doesn’t quite work, at least try something new instead of recycling Bad Boys 2 but with robots.
There’s not a lot left to say that hasn’t been covered already, but I’ll await Transformers 4, hoping that he steps out of his comfort zone and tries something new, fully prepared to be disappointed again.