With Christmas just around the corner and a bevy of wonderful foodstuffs to eat, what better time for someone to try and get into shape *sigh* as someone who has recently celebrated a birthday that puts my 20s well and truly in the rear view mirror, my mind, perhaps morbidly so, turns to my inevitable death. I don’t plan on it being soon, but the reality is the better you take care of yourself, the longer you’ll live. With that in mind, and as a way of encouraging me to stick to it, I’ve decided to chart my successes and failures in getting fit here on That Film Guy. This gives me a responsibility to be truthful and an accountability that should hopefully mean that I don’t drop at the first melted cheese hurdle. Mmmmm, melted cheese.
In order to tie it in with the film-theme of the site, I’ve decided to set myself a film-related goal. And who has better physiques than superheroes? I would have opted to go for Superman’s look as a goal, until I realised that Sam Ashurst from Total Film had done exactly the same thing (bloody talented writers, stealing all my best ideas before I even have them). So with the Man of Steel out of the running, which superhero physique would I most like to have? Perhaps Ryan Reynolds in the Green Lantern? Nope, the film is so tepid that it’s unlikely to inspire me when I’m at the depths of despair in a few days time. What about Captain America from, well Captain America? Too patriotic for my British sensibilities. The Blob from X-Men Origins: Wolverine? Well in fairness I’ve already achieved that. As a wrestling fan, I’d like to have picked The Rock, but he has yet to step-up and take on a proper superhero role (Why The Rock, WHY?) so he’s out too.
No, I think the superhero I’d most like to look like is¦ Thor. That’s right Mr. Christopher Hemsworth is the goal, plus there’s a nice cyclical nature with Thor being the first film that I reviewed for the site and I attribute a lot of my slovenly nature on my need to sit in a dark room for hours and hours each week. Is it unrealistic? Probably. Impossible? Almost certainly. Funny to read about? Hopefully.
So before I begin, let’s look at some raw stats:
Age: 32 (sigh)
Height: 6 feet 1 and ½ (MANLY!)
Weight: 18st 12lbs (264lbs or 119kg) (big-boned?)
BMI: 34.4 (ouch!)
Level of Fitness: Poor¦ at best. (Pass me those crisps)
Diet: No thanks, it’ll get in the way of my hot, buttered toast (mmm toast)
Training: Here I must admit to having a loose understanding of fitness and diet, mainly thanks to the excellent work of Dave Saunders at trg Fitness Centre. In fact it is to him that I owe the fact that I’m not a Jabba the Hutt style fatty, just a regular fat guy. I’ve decided to sign up to his gym this week and that will be my base of operations, my Fortress of Solitude if you will. Oh wait, that’s Superman again. Dammit.
I will personally be working out with an upstart personal trainer Alistair Cox (annoyingly a man who vaguely resembles the Norse God) who is also a trained masseuse (handy and handsy) and a jolly nice chap to boot. In an attempt to get into character I shall be pretending to be Loki during our sessions together, calling him a ˜mewling quim’ etc. He doesn’t know this yet. Hopefully he’ll understand.
So with a platform, a loose film-related topic and an old fat guy to mould and shape into a Norse God, it’s time to get started on the Road to Asgard¦
I can already tell this is a bad idea.
LET’S DO THIS!